Well since you're simply asking for a story critique I'd be happy to oblige as a fellow writer and time traveling enthusiast. Well done sir. Not only did you work in the realm of practical theories you were even able to create a whole new concept that I highly enjoyed.
Now for the technical stuff. Good use of intro to setup the purgatory room, and the quick flash at the door to further foreshadow his faith. Bonus points for being able to tell the story with very little dialogue. Great payoff with the time tallying. For a moment I thought you were going to go with time loop theory and the doc would pop up to scare the scientist and thus create the paradox your resolution was much more emotionally driven which I love. The only critique and it's a minor one is the doc's decision to waste time walking into the mysterious room. The stakes of his lover dying out weighs any normal case of curiosity. The quick flash would reflect a connection but because it's not a loop he's experiencing then the flash is simply for the audience, which then leads the character making the decision for no purpose other than curiosity, and curiosity can wait if a loved one is dying. Again minor issue that would really hold no value to any normal viewer, but just details.
Again great job sir. I normally don't write, but this little piece had all my favorite little things and and outcome that creates a wonder of possibilities.
Your animation diminishes your message
It's ironic that you feel this way about this certain trend but instead of creating something original, and powerful, you fall towards simple mockery. With this rant I really expected something that at least seemed like you tried. But instead of offering us something new to entice us with you just half assed what you see as half assed work.
There's a reason why the Awesome series is so well received. its because comedy is opinionated by relevance, reference, and relateabilty. A parody of a video game that's just been released is amusing, because we understand the reference and relate to the frustration. It's why certain people find some things funny and others don't because they lack one or all of those R's. There are many other factors to comedy these three things are just rudimental standards.
My point is you seem concerned about the standards of animation these days. There's no solution to this problem socially but you can choose to shy away from it. To make a difference you simply must be different.
You don't like the current trend than make something with a little heart to it. Whether or not you get a million hits or just forty it doesn't matter, because those forty saw it and if ten of those people liked it and wish to emulate it that's how it starts.
It's why we have Pico Day, and Maddness Day, and Clock Day and other days. Not because these artist created something to start a trend they just created and it became a trend.
Art is not about creating something the world will like it's creating something you yourself is proud of. Everyone else's opinions is their own. Can you say you're proud of this animation? Yes, there's a message behind it, but if you take that message away is it something you want to be remembered for or is the swf. already in your trash?
I can't animate. I don't have the skill nor the patience to develop the skills. I watch these videos and make my opinions but I rarely rate or review unless I'm compelled to simply because it's not my place to judge the artistic style of another. The shit that gets blamed here gets blamed because it's obvious the artist didn't even try, even those animations that art as pretty or fluid get a fighting chance in the oblivion known as the Portal because we acknowledge that there was at least effort.
Hell I still have a crappy stick figure animation on my profile from back in high school that still exists simply because people saw that I at least tried.
If you really wanted this post to mean something to more people you should have given us a taste of what you would like to see be more prominent. By making a crappier animation to spoof "crappy" animation is just perpetuating a separate trend.
You pointed out the "Awesome Grounds" made the same point and now here you are giving us [Dick 3] which is a third of something, which will probably get some other animator to create something just as bad and dub it [dick 4].
Instead of inspiring people to do something grander you're establishing a new cycle of worse animation and story. You've lowered the bar even further for people to reach to.
This is on the front page, which means people will watch and make their own opinion. Just as you took from the first Brawl Funnies others will mock aside you, which completely destroys the message you're trying to make.
If more of these start appearing you only have yourself to blame. I hope you can live with that.
A few months ago ashford pride made a movie with a foreboding title. It was called "Awesome Grounds".
Well ladies and gentlemen, that's might as well what this site should be called (at least right now), with the top row on the front page slot dedicated to an "awesome" movie and an "awesome" parody, an "awesome" t-shirt in the newgrounds store, and pretty much every "awesome" movie in the top 100, along with han's "awesome's creed".
I can't go to newgrounds with seeing something not about egoraptor or his coveted video game parody series. It makes me wonder sometimes if pursuing anything but half-assed cartoons making mildly funny observations about video games laced with profanity is even worth it. Truly, they are what bring the masses of 13-year olds to this site, and thus increases traffic and competition in the internet world. But you have to ask yourself, with this sort of two-bit audience increasing in numbers, are they really interested in watching anything else?
I understand that it's a dog eat dog world in the online entertainment business, and to compete you have to pretty much put up content that a majority of internet browsers would click on. This includes either women or video games. Things they already know they want. And that's all they want. They sign up, watch more, and come back and do it again later. They're trained to know that what they want is easily accessible and is promoted all over the site.
Original content is often shuffled off to the bottom of the page, or never gets any attention to begin with. Now comes into play the whole 'they won't click on it unless there's a boob for the icon', etc etc. That's because they've been fashioned to think that way.
I'm not saying i have all the mysterious answers to the way people's minds work. But this much is true - if all people click on are breasts and video game icons, and you give them breasts and video game icons, you're not pushing the envelope.
Newgrounds is the epitome of user-generated content. We already have a massive advantage over youtube in the fact that making a cartoon involves so much more creativity than snappily editing your webcam footage. So instead of 200 cartoons coming out every minute, we have 200 cartoons coming out every day. That gives someone a better chance of breaking out and being discovered for his hard work, and a reward for a job well done.
But in the same way that viewers are trained that they don't have to go out of their way to avoid original content they would otherwise enjoy, authors are becoming more and more disenchanted with their personal creations and are turning to nerd culture icons and cheap tactics to get viewers.
I can't tell you how many animators I have spoken to that have shunned their own creations in favor of sub-pop culture parody and disjointed scripts sprinkled with toilet humor and profanity. a cartoon catering to everyone who's forgotten what cartoons are all about. And here we are shoving away everything about cartoons that was originally appealing and magical, because we're pretty much forced to.
I'm not pointing the finger at any one person here. I think it's part of the bigger picture - bigger than Newgrounds, too. But if people really care about the future of cartoons and animation, we wouldn't be seeing this kind of blatant favoritism.
People will find what they want if they want it. They don't need to be spoon fed it all.
For thirty years animators who strive to create something genuinely unique have gotten nothing but a slap in the face. It's sickening and it has to stop someday, before they all disappear.
Lastly, this post is not about me. I'm not writing this out of self-pity, bitterness or spite. I'm being honest. I care a lot about the future of animation, and what I see around me is very troubling. The industry is bad enough, but where the future lies is in the small corners of the animation world. Newgrounds is one of them. I spend a lot of time trying to encourage and teach frame-by-frame animation, and creating your own characters and scripts. That is what is important
this made me sad
props for making me care about a flower. very well done sir.
PLEASE RELEASE A DVD!!!
Or let these episodes be downloadable somewhere I would gladly pay to have this series in my collection so I could spread the love the way you have. An awesome journey indeed.
beautiful piece of existentialism
I usually don't write reviews but this one struck a cord with me. It was a beautiful piece of storytelling. A person independent to himself and living in the moment, not attached to the past and not seeking a future, but truly just living for the now, and a person like most people who live with goals and definitions. Those who need and want will never understand those who don't.
I am an Albatross, so this piece was great for me to experience.
good job mate.
Are you gonna make us wait another year for another episode your a worse tease than a woman on the rag.
Anywho great little series I swear if you don't finish it I'l find you and place your head on a pole. lol.
No but great cartoon!!
Haha. I don't know. I'm going to consult some of my more long-term fans, fellow animators, and other people, and see what they think.
I mean, I'd much rather create the third part now, and not only no longer have any unfinished business lying about, but also please the fans. But it just wouldn't be as festive if it weren't around this time of year. And you can't exactly release a movie that centers on Halloween around Valentines Day...
Very entertaining. Your dialogue needs a little work though. Virus sounds a little too childish. You should try for more menacing, less is more when it comes to awesome villains. EX: I "I hope you all learned your lesson. I won, you must follow my orders now." Take out the I won cause that's obvious and like I said before sounds childish. Simplify "Now that you have had a taste of my power you will do as I say." or even simpler "You are my soldiers now." Villains that talk too much tend to get annoying the best bad guys are the ones that speak only when they have to and say only what they need to.
But I digress. It was still a great piece of work. The voice acting was top notch, some I even thought might have sound bites, I'm still unsure. I love anything that uses known gaming characters and love it even more that you final fantasy 7 sprites too.
Keep up the good work can't wait to see how this continues.
yeah, actually the dialogue was in spanish because my english isn't very good. My friends help me with this of the simple way and this was the result. When I did this flash, maybe the actors voice didn't get it very well...but now that they saw it, they want to do it better. ;)
If this is your first I cant wait to c your tenth
This was fantastic, I wish I could make something close to it. Great job can't wait to see more
I'm guessing you like unicorns
being one that is always behind the times i didn't discover this video until just recently never knew it started here on newgrounds. Just a funny note this movie and the last one you submitted were both submitted on my b-day the 26th of nov. so now your movie has an even specialer (yeah i know that's not a word) in my heart. Hope you do another unicorn movie.
This made me smile inside
and outside too. Nice cute flash I like these kind of things. Well done.
Hehe, you'd thinking smiling on the inside and on the outside would be the same thing. Glad you liked it.
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